It's Not Easy
by LxIsxJustice
Summary: When L took his last breath, Light vanished with him. Meant to be an L and Light friendship, but you can look at it any way you want! Rated because it's Death Note. Character Death.


**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Death note or its characters. I also do not own the Five For Fighting song "Superman (It's Not Easy). If I owned Death Note, L would have totally lived.**

Read and review my friends, because me without reviews is a very pitiful sight to behold.

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_I can't stand to fly_

_I'm not that naïve_

_I'm just out to find the better part of me_

Light awoke screaming at the top of his lungs, but was muffled by his pillow. He sat up quickly, glancing around the room for any anomalies that may be there. But, of course, there was nothing out of the ordinary.

It was simply another day in the Kira headquarters. Light glanced to the side to find another in the bed tonight. That surprised him, because L, otherwise known as Ryuzaki, was actually asleep!

Light had never witnessed such a cataclysmic event before, but there the super sleuth was; deep under in peaceful slumber, not awoken by the muffled scream Light had just emitted. For this, Light was thankful.

No doubt in his brilliant mind, Light knew he would have been questioned thoroughly had L heard his cry for mercy.

Light had just had another dream.

_I'm more than a bird_

_I'm more than a plane_

_I'm more than some pretty face beside a train_

_And it's not easy to be me_

He supposed he should be used to it by now, but these dreams were just something he could not shake off lately.

The dreams used to be about his victims, screaming and howling about their impending revenge and Justice of the one who'd killed them. Light knew what he was doing was wrong, but he had lost all control. Kira had completely come to rule him, and he had no choice but to stand by and watch.

When he'd found the notebook, he'd been bored out of his mind, hoping for a distraction. But, beyond that, he wished to see the world become a better place. He'd truly thought that the Death Note could help him succeed.

Little had he known that using the Death Note would turn him into something more horrible than the ones he was passing judgment on.

_I wish that I could cry_

_Fall upon my knees_

_Find a way to lie about a home I'll never see_

After he'd decided to become the God of the new world, Light began to change. No longer did he care for his friends, his family, his very self. His entire being revolved around the Death Note.

After a time, Light lost himself to the Death Note, and became Kira. When he'd killed the FBI agents, he fell into submission to the darkness and let evil overwhelm him.

The dreams he had now were not about his past victims, but about his future ones. Particularly one individual whom he'd come to know very personally. It was L, and as Light looked upon L's sleeping form, he sighed and turned to face the other way. He couldn't bear to look upon his only friend while he was this vulnerable, because it made Light remember Kira's mission: to eliminate L.

Light repressed a shudder as he knew that day was approaching him fast. Kira's power was _not_ of this world, so there was no way L could win against him. Light _was_ of this world, so there was no way he could win against Kira either.

But, despite knowing this, he still tried.

_It may sound absurd_

_But don't be naïve_

_Even heroes have the right to bleed_

_I may be disturbed, but what you concede_

_Even heroes have the right to dream_

_And it's not easy to be me_

Light started shaking, wondering how L was going to die. It would probably be a heart attack, like most everyone else. Kira wouldn't have the kindness to let him die peacefully or any different than all the others.

"Oh, Light, you're awake. I didn't expect you to be up so early," came a voice from beside him.

Light took a silent but deep breath, and then turned to face L.

"Good morning Ryuzaki," Light said in a voice that sounded falsely cheerful even to his own ears. "I thought you should sleep some, since you rarely ever do. I'm sorry if I woke you."

L stared at Light for several moments, and then replied, "Yes, it is true that I rarely ever sleep. I find it trifling and unnecessary. I'd much rather spend my time working to further the Kira Case."

Light nodded, they'd had this discussion before, when Light was new to the investigation. After several days of L not sleeping, he'd voiced his concern over his lack of slumber.

But, after time went on, Light became rather accustomed to all of L's odd quirks such as no sleep or massive sugar intake. They were what made L unique.

_Up, up and away away from me_

_Well it's all right_

_You can all sleep sound tonight_

_I'm not crazy or anything_

Light had never had a true friend before L. As much as he hated to admit it, he depended on L a lot. And soon, Kira was going to take all that away.

"Is Light okay? He does not seem to be paying much attention to his surroundings today."

Light snapped out of his trance just in time to almost walk into a straight plummet down the stairs. He didn't even remember getting dressed or following L out of their room.

"Oh. Thank you, Ryuzaki. You're right, I didn't even notice where I was going," he said with a grateful smile.

"Light is not himself today. Does your mind request a few more hours of sleep perhaps?" L questioned without emotion. At least, to an inexperienced spectator. Light noticed slight concern linger in the detective's voice.

I can't stand to fly

_I'm not that naïve_

_Men want men to ride_

_With clouds between their knees_

Light smiled again. "No, Ryuzaki, really I'm fine. I just was thinking about all the work we're going to have to do today and it's already making me weary. But, nothing to be worried about. I'm sure I'll b fine."

L looked at him for a moment then shrugged and continued down the stairs.

Soon. So soon, L would be leaving the world because of Kira. Or rather, because Light allowed Kira to destroy him.

A war had been waged inside of his mind, and he was losing. He was losing because he was weak, because he had nothing against the evil inside him. The Death Note didn't make him evil, it simply brought out what was already there, leaving the real Light to try and hold on for as long as he could.

_I'm only a man, in a silly red sheet_

_Digging for Kryptonite on this one way street_

_I'm only a man, in a funny red sheet_

_Looking for special things inside of me_

_Inside of me_

Now Light knew what L meant when they had stood on the rooftop and he'd said, "I hear the bell." Light could hear it loud and clear now, because he now realized that the bell struck when someone was dying.

L was dying.

As Light held him in his arms, watching him slip away by the moment, he knew he would never see him again. For surely, someone as good as L was going to see the Elysian Fields, but a person who wrote in the Death Note could neither go to Heaven nor Hell. Light would end up in Mu; Nothingness.

With each beat of L's heart as he lay there dying, Light was dying too. He felt Kira's evil smile stretch across his face in victory, and as L finally closed his eyes, Light disappeared forever.

_I'm only a man, in a silly red sheet_

_I'm only a man looking for a dream_

_I'm only a man in a funny red sheet_

_And…_

With one last thought that was truly of himself, Light thought…

"_It's not easy…to be…me_"


End file.
